“I’m an emotional eater” is one of the more common complaints I receive during consultations as a Registered Dietitian. Emotional eating is often perceived as a very negative thing, and as something that comes in the way of reaching our “goals”, whether that’s weight management, developing health-promoting habits, or healing our relationship with food.
The truth about emotional eating is that it’s a very effective way to cope with our emotions. This goes way back, to when we needed to hunt and gather for survival. Back then, eating meant that we literally survived another day, and that we can let our guards down until then. Though we no loner need to hunt or gather for pure survival anymore, the physiological mechanism is still there.
There is also nothing wrong with eating our emotions.
What, what?
You heard (or in the case, read) me. When it comes to managing our emotions and stress, eating our emotions can be one of the many tools in our toolbox that we can choose to manage them. The only case it can become problematic is if it is our ONLY tool to manage our emotions.
Here are some ways to better manage emotional eating:
Learn to sit with and actually feel your emotions instead of immediately trying to avoid them
This is the biggest and most important thing I learned to do in therapy. Emotions are like tunnels, the only way to get to the other side, is through. Whatever you ignore will pile up, and eventually somehow explode in your place… sometimes, in the form of emotional eating, sometimes in the form of health issues.
Explore tools to add to your coping mechanism toolbox. Keep and use the ones you like best.
The possibilities are endless, and there isn’t a good or bad way to do this, as long as you don’t put yourself in danger. Some common coping mechanisms to test out are: - meditation/breathing exercises, - creative expression (writing, drawing, painting, dancing, music), - watching a TV show/movie, - listening to a podcast/music, physical movement (exercise or stretching), - taking a warm bath/shower, - massages, - talking to someone you trust (friend, family member, therapist, healthcare professional) - eating your emotions.
The difference between eating your emotions because you have no other choice versus choosing to eat your emotions is empowering, and can help get rid of pesky food guilt. Besides, the same tool won’t always be the most effective every time, and if emotional eating is your only tool… you’ll be using it every time… and it won’t be as effective every time… leading to exacerbated food guilt. You catch the drift.
Make sure you’re eating sufficiently throughout the day to avoid emotional dysregulation
Emotional dysregulation (ex. hangriness, sadness), can also be a hunger queue. If that’s the culprit to your emotional eating, eating more regularly and sufficiently throughout the day can be the solution.
Stop feeling guilty when you choose to eat your feelings
This one might be easier said than done, especially if you’re so used to food guilt. When you have enough tools in your tools box to be able to consciously make the decision to eat your feelings at any point in time, talking yourself off the ledge can be easier.
Remind yourself that the food guilt you’re experiencing isn’t helping with anything. It can cause us to fall into the diet trap, making us want to restrict.
We can alternatively choose to do it, own up to it, and just move on.